I am sick. I came down with what seems to be a cold/flu a couple of days ago. It started with a dry cough that got more annoying as the day progressed. Then came the fever/chills/headache. And now the congestion is taking over my head. I think you know what I’m talking about.
I felt awful and not having much energy to do much of anything. So I did an emergency re-blog yesterday. I had to cancel playing in a golf tournament (that I paid $100 – but it was all for raising funds for our youth camps). I had to cancel an appointment with one of my key leaders. I mustered up enough energy to attend the luncheon for the tournament so I could connect with my playing partner whose wife just had a baby. I took a nap all afternoon so I could have enough energy to lead a Worship Team rehearsal. And now, as I write this at 10pm, I’m spent.
I feel pretty worthless, that I really don’t have much of anything to give. I was going to re-blog another article for today, but I got the feeling that I needed to just write about what I’m going through. After all, Whole Life Worship is not just something we live out when we are feeling “nice and chipper.” It’s a way of life even when we feel lousy or sick or discouraged or tired. What makes Whole Life Worship transformative is that we just give God what we have – the good, the bad, and the ugly – and let Him do His thing.
The verse that comes to mind is 2 Corinthians 12:9 where the Lord tells Paul, in the midst of his terrible affliction: “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.”
I’m the type of person who does not want to be weak. I don’t want to look weak. I don’t want to be perceived as weak by others. But God is teaching me that being weak is okay. It’s even good because I learn to trust Him and others in the process. I learn how to receive grace; and if there is something that Christians need to be experts in, it’s in receiving grace (so we can also give it freely to others).
So today I was weak. But God was gracious. Although the blog was a re-blog, one of our readers commented that she really needed to re-hear the message about the Whole Life Worship components (thanks, Lynne!).
I missed the golf tournament, but not only was my golf partner (his name is Tony) very gracious to me when I texted him that I would not be able to play, our team got 2nd place in the tournament. They each got a trophy – and they gave me one, too! (I guess they felt I contributed to their win by not playing!) Funny, I also won one of the raffle prizes at the tournament luncheon.
Tonight at Worship Team rehearsal, I shared with the team that I was not feeling well. They responded by playing and singing their hearts out, by giving a great effort, and by encouraging me (grumpy as I was at times) throughout the rehearsal. We left with glad hearts, ready to serve this weekend for the Worship Services.
In my weakness, I see I have much to be thankful for. I don’t need to be strong all the time. In fact, I learn the best lessons when I am less than my capability. In my weakness, I see how God demonstrates grace to me through circumstances and through people. And sometimes, when I’m weak, I get some nice surprises – like a golf trophy and winning a raffle drawing – thrown in.
God really is good, in more ways than we realize.