REstart

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Hello Friend,

I’m sorry it’s been such a long time since I last shared on “Whole Life Worship.” I just stopped writing. I’m trying to figure out why I stopped. Some of it had to do with more responsibilities at church; I was asked to do more preaching and leading, and I just couldn’t find the time to write. But I think a lot had to do with the fact that I had simply “run out of things to write about.”

The “well” had run dry. The till was empty.

So I stopped. Kind of like how Forrest Gump stopped “run-ning” after crossing the country several times, I just stopped “write-ing.” Nothing left in the tank. No more words to say.

Until today.

Today I find myself on the first day of a new season. What marks this new season is actually something not so good: my kidneys are failing. I have 5% kidney function (a casualty of my diabetic condition of 25 years) and I’m on dialysis. Today I was scheduled to get a kidney transplant, but it was delayed (more on that later). I was very disappointed for the postponement and I wrestled with God about it. I mean, dialysis sucks! (pardon my French – but it really is pretty sucky, like other hard things in life). I hate feeling bloated with 2 liters of fluid in my body 8 hours a day. I’m gaining weight like a blimp and I’ve had allergic reactions to the fluid, leaving my legs and torso raw with scratch marks.

Not fun.

But it was in the midst of this disappointment and confusion and anger that God met me. On the night after I found out that my transplant surgery was postponed, I found myself awake at 3:30am. I was itchy all over and I couldn’t get back to sleep. I was feeling so sorry for myself, and that’s God said to me, “Doug, get up! I’m giving you a restart.” And what happened to me in the next hour was remarkable, insightful and amazing.

So much so, that it was enough to get me back into blog writing! At least, I have enough material to get me started again. And we’ll see where that leads us.

The message for today is that God is a God of “restarts.” We have seasons where we’re humming along, everything is fine and dandy, and then … wham! We get slammed. We get locked up. We stall out. The well goes dry. Our expectations get dashed. We experience “suckiness!”

But the story doesn’t end there. God is still with us. And if we’re open to him, we might hear his small, still voice in the wee hours of the morning saying, “Hey, Dear One! Don’t worry. I’m going to give you a restart. Just listen carefully to what I have to tell you.”

Are you ready for a restart?

“See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up, do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland.” (Isaiah 43:19)

11 thoughts on “REstart

  1. Thank you for sharing Doug! His mercies are new every morning. I know I need that reminder. Praying for you today. ❤️ Diane

  2. Thanks Doug for this post. I didn’t know about your kidneys. But I did know about the Lord of Restarts. He has been patient with me when I went through my own dry season. “His promise still stands, great is thy faithfulness, faithfulness; I’m still in your hands, this is my confidence, you’ve never failed me yet.” I chose STILL as my word of the year.

  3. Glad you are back! I have missed this blog which I subscribed to. Prayed for you this morning! Thankful for a God of Re-starts. I need them every day! Keep writing! All my best!

    • Hi, Foy and Doug, I was thrilled to see you are writing again, Doug. I’m sorry for your suffering and I understand that the creatinine (spelling) causes the skin to itch. My Dad has the itching too.

      Some of the comforts about life’s pitfalls to me is that nothing that happens to us is a surprise to God. And that he is the God of surprise outcomes. I remember old Jacob grown weary of life who thought he had lost Joseph, Simeon, and maybe Benjamin who went to Egypt with his brothers to buy grain. Jacob though he had possibly lost three sons, but no, God restored all three. He has better answers than we can even imagine‼️ I’m praying for you.

  4. Sorry to hear about the kidney problem. Praying you are able to get a transplant soon. Glad you are able to hear God’s songs in the night. (Job 35:10)

  5. Doug I am praying for you. Had no idea what you have been going through. I am always blessed when I hear you preach. Thank you for your blog today. I am in need of a restart.

  6. Ps. Doug, My church and I will be praying for you! Thank you for your faithfulness in serving Him. We love you. – Bernard Muliadi (Newborn Church)

  7. I love your posts, Doug!! God is soooo good and He has a wonderful, exciting, and blessed future in store for you!! Thank You Lord!! ‘Praying for you while you are experiencing this season.

  8. It’s really good to have you writing again. Thank you for keeping me in the loop. 😉. My heart breaks for you. I hear your pain. I also hear your faith in God and the hope of all the possibilities that still lie ahead of you because of him. He really is a good God. I learned that from you. Thank you for sharing the journey of your life with God with me. I am and continue to be blessed by God through you. I watched my sister go through dialysis because of diabetes. She was never well enough to be a candidate for a transplant. And now I have kidney disease as well. It seems you still have much to teach me with the inspiration of your life and the genuine trials and joys of that experience. Thank you for restarting. You are a blessing ❤️

  9. AMEN my Brother! Even though I have moved many miles away I continue to lift you (and family) up in prayer. Now I know (and understand ) why it has been a while since I heard from y’all! God is good and is still in control! Blessings from the Wild Rivers Coast and Romans 12:1-2 are still my verses to hang on! (ps- I wore my CBC Worship Team sweatshirt to Worship Team practice the other day and got lots of comments! WOOHOO) To God be the Glory!

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